Sweet nothings #3

summer vacations, time off and getting back to creativity.

Every week I’ll share my latest musings, experiences, wisdom, and things I’ve been trying (and sometimes failing) to do. The deep feels the best books, and the small joys.

Grab a cuppa, let’s get cozy.

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This is me trying… to RELAX.

We’ve just returned from our family holiday in Spain (which is why this newsletter is late, sorry!) I’m currently snowed under with washing, unpacking, and exhausted kids.

I’m incredibly grateful that we could enjoy a holiday with our kids, I know that in these difficult times, it’s a real luxury. We had a great time, and the kids loved it. But I have to be honest, being away from home isn’t easy for me.

I’m a home bird through and through. I live in the same small town that I grew up in and live on the road next to my parents. I visit them most days and never go a few days without seeing my siblings. We live within walking distance of local coffee shops, a park, and the beach. I never moved away for University and wouldn’t consider myself well-traveled. I didn’t take a gap year, or volunteer abroad. Growing up Neurodivergent, our home was a constant sense of safety to me. I have 6 siblings, so I never felt lonely. I knew what to expect at home, and I was raised in a chaos of love.

Now as a 33-year-old adult with her own home, I feel the same way. I have my routines, home comforts, regulation tools, and books. I’ve slowly built an environment where I feel safe and supported. At home, I can be myself without the outside pressure to conform. Sometimes when I leave my house for work or socialisation, I feel like a child who feels too small for our world. It fascinates me, and I’m endlessly curious about the world and human experience around me. But it can also feel incredibly confusing, overwhelming, and loud.

So when we go on holiday (or vacation if you’re in the US), it’s a lot for me to process. The traveling, waiting around airports, new faces, new environments, a complete disruption in my routine. Most people find holidays the best time to relax but I feel exhausted before I even get there. The planning, the prep, the shopping, the packing, the anxiety of what’s to come, and the unknown.