Making your vision board a reality - How to feel uncomfortable things.

Living an emotionally regulated and expansive life.

I have always been a big feeler. When I was younger, big feelings often felt too big for my small body to hold. Even now in my thirties, I still have those days where it all feels too much and I just want to hide under my covers like I did as a scared child.

I used to wish that I didn’t feel so much. It would be easier, life would be lighter I suppose. But in the same way that I feel sadness like a dead weight in my chest, I also feel joy like a small child on a summer’s day. It doesn’t take much to inspire or excite me. A colourful flower or an ‘I love you’ text can make my day feel like magic.

It’s a not-so-delicate balance between the two, constantly teetering on the edge of some sort of intense emotion. It’s unexpected and uncomfortable and I never know what’s coming next. The unease of the in-between has left me an anxious mess more times than I can remember.

It’s a new buzzword now on social media but I didn’t even know what ‘emotional dysregulation’ was until I had kids. I thought that I was suffering from Postnatal Depression until I learned about what suppressing your feelings can do to your body, and experience of life. Since then, I’ve learned so much about Nervous system regulation Emotional regulation, and what our feelings mean.

Learning how to feel, heal, and regulate my emotions has not only been life-changing in terms of my ADHD struggles but it’s changed the way I see and experience my whole life.

I don’t want to experience a life without feeling. I want my heart to warm every time my children hand me their latest artwork. I want to cry and feel the loss of loving somebody so deeply that it reminds me what it means to feel connected with life. I want to be human. I want to feel alive.

But how do we live a happy and balanced life when our emotions make some days feel so impossible to bear?