Making my Pinterest board a reality - How to be the favourite version of yourself.

- because the childhood version of you is counting on it.

‘Inner child healing’ has become quite the trend in the past couple of years in the self-development world. The world of ‘healing’ in any sense gives me the ick now, and in this essay, I will explain why.

My self-development journey started at twenty-one when I was diagnosed with Depression. Desperate to find a solution that wasn’t just meds, I sought out more holistic approaches. Small changes through exercise and daily meditation got me out of a dark hole that I wasn’t sure I’d ever escape. Wanting to continue on my journey, I explored other options. I looked for self-help books on ‘healing’ and ‘being happy’ and started to learn more about spiritual practices like Manifestation. For the first time in, well, ever, I was beginning to feel hopeful that I wasn’t doomed to be a depressive for the rest of my life.

Luckily, my life has done a 180 over the following decade. By the time I turned thirty, I was married to a wonderful man, had two healthy children, a house that I owned, a job that paid the bills, and a community online that made me feel seen. I thought that this was it, that all of the hard work to ‘heal’ from my past trauma was done. I felt like I had everything I wanted and could finally be happy. I had read over 100 self-help books, listened to countless podcasts, and had been to therapy. I deserved to graduate from the school of misery, surely? I should have received top marks in this test that we call life.

Then my health took a turn for the worse shortly after my second child was born, resulting in an ADHD diagnosis two years later at the age of 32. My psychiatrist warned me that I might go through a period of grief, reminiscing on what could have been if I’d had a diagnosis earlier. What kind of support could I have asked for? What kind of woman could I have grown into with this support? How much further along in life could I be now if I had known?